Reflections

It has been quite a while since my last post. I have been really overwhelmed with anticipation; I am looking forward towards our trip to the U.S., I am nervous/encompassed by the English Camp in July, and I find myself daydreaming about our second year in Policka: Will things be easier? How will our Czech improve? Where will your relationships go?
Maybe I am focusing too much on whats to come, instead of leaning back in my chair and working/reflecting on the day at hand. I know that if I let my mind wander to the realm of "what will be", I might completely miss the kernels of insight that are right under my fingers, nose, feet...

I wish it was that easy just to focus, but it really is hard. Unlike previous years, this year's English-camp programming rests on the shoulders of Jamie and I. We are confident that we will be able to live up to the standards of the past, but we know that things will be different. What is more stressful is not coming up with ideas, but finding time. We are still in the midst of our classes, which means that our number one priority when headin' into the Church each morning, is planning and coming up with engaging lesson plans-- this might seem like an easy enough job, but after you have already planned over 50 of them, it gets a bit monotonous. On top of thinking creatively about the week-in and week-out work, we have to set aside time to brainstorm about camp activities. I don't want to sound like I am complaining, but this Spring is starting to feel like the final "kick" during a cross-country race: we are tired and have come so far, but we gotta' find the energy to get the legs moving faster than ever before. Then, when you add planning for our trip to the United States (no easy task), reapplying for our visa, closing out our classes, planning for Germans visiting and having a last retreat with the confirmation class, June becomes a little 'front-loaded.'

-- My daydream right now--

The night before heading back to Pittsburgh, I'm sure that Jamie and I will stay in our favorite hostel in Prague, Sir Toby's, where the basement is a fantastic pub that has all the charm and authenticity that you expect from a backpacker hangout. And as I buy my last Czech draft and sit in one of the over-worn armchairs, I will rest my head back, taste the bitter coolness of the beer on my tongue and for the first time in a long time, reflect on life, on the Czech Republic and anticipate the reunion with family, friends, familiar scenery and the things I deeply love. I look forward to this moment.

-- not yet jeremy, not yet--

I don't want to give the impression that I don't like being in the Czech Republic, because that is actually quite far from the truth. I really enjoy the experience, the peacefulness and the freedom that comes from living in a small town in the countryside. Each day I do not have to worry about crime, about going out at night, traffic, chaos, health insurance or bills ( we have some, yes). Each weekend Jamie and I are free to roam on the hiking trails that traverse the hills in all directions from Policka. One of the most beautiful, refreshing facts about my life here is that I haven't driven a car for almost a year; I walk, I ride my bike, I hike and I take life at a slower, more authentic pace. When it was cold in the winter, I felt the bit of the wind on my face and the snow brushing my eye-lashes. When it rains, I walk slowly and surely through the puddles and feel each drop clang against my head. In the spring time, I find myself noticing the the buttery-sweet fragrance of blooming trees and flowers. I even get to smell the freshly-manured fields when the wind is blowing just right-- this 'smrad' (czech for stench) reminds me, weekly, that I really am a city-slicker from upbringing, as I still "gufawh" every time I catch a hint. I find it really refreshing that I can see friends and students in the town square during the working day. I can buy rolls and bread from the local bakery, stop by the fruit/vegetable stand to pick up some fresh carrots and peruse through the book store to see what's new. I often get invitations to head to one of the local pubs, where I finally feel confident speaking Czech and know that I'm not completely looked at as an outsider (maybe a little, but it's better than in August!): I know exactly what beer is the best -- Policka Kvasnicove (un-pasteurized, yeast beer)-- and what table I prefer. I have grown accustomed to the weather in Policka, as I am used to its fickle manner: I know that in the morning, just because there is a clear sky and sun, doesn't mean that by afternoon there won't be any rain; I know that the forecast on the nightly news is usually a day in advance for us, so if it calls for rain on Monday, I can expect it Tuesday. I have grown accustomed to seeing elderly people gardening and walking around in their fields. I used to be shocked by this, because my mind was accustomed to seeing the aged relegated to wheelchairs, automatic lifters and 'rascal' scooters, but now I find it normal that a man aged 85 can still wield a hoe and dig a trench without taking a break every 2 minutes. I have adjusted to life without a dryer, which seems kind of silly, but when you have to plan laundry around its drying length, things are littler more complicated than just cleaning the lint trap, shutting the door and hitting the button. I've even managed to eat with both of my hands. Here in the Czech Republic, it is proper etiquette to eat with both elbows on the table and with utensils in your hands at all times: fork in the left, knife in the right. This has come about because the Czech meals, which are saucy and meaty by nature, require you to use both utensils for effective 'shoveling' as I like to call it. For an American who has been chastised his whole life for being a "pig" if both of his elbows were positioned in attack mode around his dinner plate, this change in dining habit is very difficult to get a handle on: many times, especially early on, I was fighting the thought of looking like a ravenous animal as I tore away at my plate with both hands surrounding it (American mind). Not to mention, it is actually really difficult for me to eat with my left hand, as I really don't use it very much, aside from playing baseball. I've also grown accustomed to using Czech phrases and words in my every day speech. I would say that sometimes I mix the languages completely, where I create some kind of CZENGLISH hybrid of a language: the word for hedge hog in Czech is 'jezek', which I use in sentences such as, "Jamie, I can't wait until the Jezeks come out." Or, when someone asks me a question, I have a habit of saying "ano, or nevim" instead of "yes, or I don't know." So, if you see me doing this, please laugh and 'roll with it.' In another way, I do believe that my personality has begun to change a little bit since my move here, but it is really hard for me to get a handle on what EXACTLY has changed, which might be a consequence of the fact that the process is still happening as I am writing this.

I am sorry that this post is one GIGANTIC paragraph (Faulkner anyone?). I really could write a whole lot more, but I might have to save that post for my last day before heading home. I guess in a way, this post ended as a warning to my family and friends: I might be a changed person when I come back, but please be patient with me and ask me questions, because it is through your observations that I can really begin to digest and understand my time spent here.

I hope you enjoyed some of the thoughts!