Reflections

Walking to work this morning I had to step over the brown/blackish snow-sludge that accumulates on the roadways; cover my bare chin from the stinging, blowing winter wind; clear the lenses of my glasses, so I was able to see properly; and, fight the 10 or so flakes that fell from 34,000 feet and somehow landed, of all places on this earth, in my eye. Today was an emphatic end to the season that we call fall. Snow has been coming down, consistently, for the past two days; this morning is by far the strongest. To say that Policka appears as if it is in the middle of February would be accurate.

The snow has found me in quite a relfective state. For the first part of this month, and the end of September, I chose not to post anything on the blog. Part of it was due to laziness, yes I admit, but another aspect was that I don't find many of my daily experiences that interesting/englightening/challenging anymore. Last year, there was always something to write about. Maybe it was the first snow, which ironically, came quite late. Or, I felt compelled to let you all in on a funny experience where a cultural exchange occured. Or, I relayed some deeper thoughts and struggles that I had had in adjusting to life here in the Czech Republic; however, this year, my experience really feels and is different.

I'm not so sure if I should call this year a year of 'change' or a year of 'comfort', because it really is neither. Yeah, my life situation in less than 10 months will be drastically new: I will no longer be here in the Czech Republic (hard to imagine), Jamie and I will be working COMPLETELY different jobs with unknown friends, we will most likely be speaking English all day every day, and we will be living somewhere, across the ocean, on a continent, that consists of only three gargantuan-size nations. Change is what I need to prepare for.

Yet, as I was writing earlier, the emotional and cultural struggles of a year ago are not nearly as strong. There aren't many days where my perception or my engrained attituded (which is often cultural in foundation--more than I like to admit) are sabotaged. I feel quite confident that I can adapt to any social situation that I am in, because I have enough of a precedent to have a firm conviction of how the Czech people will react to a certain statement, challenge or expressed opinion (of course this is not true for EVERY Czech person). I have grown to feel a little more connected within the network of the Policka community and Czech is becoming less and less of a barrier to communication every single day. I am comfortable. I feel excellent about these developments, but I must remember not to slide into complacencey. I must remind myself that each day there STILL is something to learn and that my Czech excursion WILL be over shortly. I have to try to live it.

One of the most terrifying possiblities, is that upon my return home, I will look back and regret that I didn't travel enough, or do a better job of cultivating relationships.

But, enough about the end. I have to think about now, today: the snow, the quaint baroque square with its dressings drapped in white, my favorite pub, the stars that peak out from behind the gothic steeple and the farm fields manured and plowed, prepared for the long slumber underneath frost.