Update/reflection

I'm finding it harder to post on this blog. I think the problem is rooted in the fact that Jamie and I have been here in the Czech Republic for over a year and half now, and it seems that all the cultural 'shocks' from a year ago have turned into nothing but normal expectations and hum-drum living. Last year, each day brought some new experience, breakthrough or frustration that I felt needed to be shared with all of (you) or yinz (why is that in English we don't have 2nd person plural?). Have I become saturated with the 'international experience'? Maybe a little bit, yes. It's not that everything is bad, or that this is a negative development; to the contrary, I'm quite content with my revelation, as it signifies an acceptance into the community of Policka--of course I will always be viewed as "The American", but it isn't said in a condescending way: it is said more like "our American." For this, I am thankful; however, it is also what is pushing me to yearn for more. To say that Policka will be hard to leave would be an understatement of gargantuan proportions; it won't just be hard to leave, it will be life-changing to leave, literally. Once again Jamie and I are on the precipice of change, a literal "fork in the road." If you look back on this blog--which itself has been a work-in-progress for almost two years--you will stumble across the earliest posts from when Jamie and I were still in Ohio. We talked about the adventure that was to come and how nervous we were to be newly-weds laying the foundation of our marriage in a foreign nation, facing stresses that are greater than any we would come to experience in the USA. (Of course we have health care here, which is a big plus!)Well, that feeling of uncertainty is creeping its way back into my conscious; however, in opposition to the time in Ohio, I'm nervous about heading back 'home' to the USA, wherever that may be.

We were only five months married when we took our first steps on Czech soil; now, we're coming up on our two-year anniversary. While it might not seem like a long time--and in reality it isn't from the 'time-space' spectrum--emotionally, we are completely different people. Just this past weekend, I was with my friend Jiri and he asked me if I wanted to stay in Polika. I told him that I don't want to stay forever, but I could stay longer. He seemed very disappointed that I didn't say, "Jiri! I've got great news; Jamie and I are going to be your neighbors! Forever!" But, I understand his sadness at hearing that Jamie and I won't be coming back next year. For one, we've become close with both his family and his daughters: we lift weights nearly every Sunday; we eat dinner with them quite often; we exchange notes and emails; and, we listen to each others' problems. In a sense, Jiri and some of our other Czech friends know both Jamie and I on a deeper level, because they have gotten to know 'us' as a married couple, not just as separate personalities. For my family and my friends back home, I have a sense of guilt in knowing that Jamie and I have laid the foundation of our married lives in a place across the Atlantic. Our lifestyle here is different. Our food here is different. Our habits in shopping and cooking here are different. How we socialize as individuals and as husband and wife are different. Consequently, when Jamie and I go back home in July, we will have to rebuild our marriage--not between each other--but in the eyes of our family and our friends, as you all have never really known us as a couple. I'm excited and encouraged at this proposition, as I yearn to foster and nurture deeper relationships with those of you back home who I might have left and not spoken with for a long time. Yet, I am still apprehensive. Coming back to the USA will signal much more than just a readjustment back into American culture (which will be hard enough for us both to do), but will also usher in a period of reacquainting ourselves with friends and family with the new people we have become, both within ourselves and within our marriage.

When I reflect on the opportunities that I have next year and with experiences gained from the past two years, I'm shocked to realize that I'm still only 24 years old. In a way, my life in the next year is in the most literal of senses WIDE-OPEN. Jamie and I can move and work anywhere we desire. We can study language, art, teaching or biology. This time in the Czech Republic has been a crucible of self-reflection and reorientation. I've grown up a lot in these past two years and I know I'm not going to look back. There are passions welling up inside of both of us and I know now that we both have the courage and the patience to succeed in them. There aren't many things in life harder than being plopped down in a country where the language and the culture are completely different from your own, and your expected to not only flourish socially, but to become and integral part of the community (those of you who have ever spent some time in a country where English is not the mother tongue know what I'm talking about). One of the hardest aspects upon first arriving in a place where your words are gobly-gook to most of the people on the street is realizing how much of your personality is built through talking. And no, I'm not just writing about telling stories and the like, I'm talking about singular words, syllables and accents. When you speak your native language, you become a master of it. You control the words and rhythm; heck, you even accent some vowels and consonants differently with diverse social groups, just to fit in. This is why there are eloquent speakers and writers, because they make the language sing. In my life, I know that I can express so much of my personality not just in speaking English and relating experiences through that West-Germanic medium, but in how I deli ever a word, or how long of a pause I give in between "I" and "am". When this ability is ripped from under your feet, you're forced to define yourself in a whole new way, normally through actions and facial expressions: skills much harder to master.

I've been doing some 'job hunting' the past few months and have found some very appealing opportunities. One opening that I’ve recently applied to is with the ACCWT (Appalachian Coal Country Watershed Team), a group that specializes in community development by working within poor, mining communities that have polluted water and deforestation problems. This job would be great for me, because it would enable me to work in nature (HUGE PLUS), engage with local community members that struggle with poverty and learn some practical skills that a go a long way towards helping me decide whether I want to pursue a career in the field. Oh, not to mention that this group is really well-known, and I would have a wonderful opportunity to do some much-needed networking. I've sent in my application and am now just waiting for a reply. The group works all throughout Appalachia with most of their focus areas being situated in Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Kentucky. I'm sure this makes many of you back in Pittsburgh and Erie WONDERFULLY happy:).


Recently we here in Policka have had a pretty nasty turn of weather. There has been a cold front moving from the East slashing its way through Central Europe, and with it, bringing bitterly-cold temperatures from Siberia. The windows are perpetually covered in frost and the propensity for one to fall to their death on the sidewalks is greater than if they engaged in tight-rope walking across Niagara Falls. But, so is the life in the Czech Highlands. Cau for now!