Impressions of Milwaukee

After driving over 550 miles where I traversed through three major cities full of innumerable 'potential hazards', I decided to save my 'accident' for the last five feet of the journey: I backed our moving truck into our neighbor's parked car. Thankfully she wasn't in the automobile (because she was in Georgia) and no one was injured. I was all alone when it happened and initially concluded that I had 'roofed' the truck on a low-lying branch, as the sounds of "CRUUUNCH" and "CRAAACK" were more like that of a stressed out tree than of a car; however, much to my horror, I was not parked under a tree, nor were there any falling leaves to be accounted for. Instead, there was a 2008 black Ford Focus with newly-formed scratches and a gigantic hole in the bumper. My stomach churned and my excitement at finally having arrived at our new destination was as ephemeral as the taste on some cheap gum. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to speak. And I sure as hell didn't want to call a girl--whom I had never met in my life--to tell her that I had just wrecked my 16' moving truck into the front of her sporty, cute college-girl car. I had to, and I did. Thankfully she was in Georgia at the time of the 'disaster' and was unable to slug me in the face upon listening to my wavering, completely embarrassed voice inform her that she will (most likely) need a new bumper upon her arrival back from summer break.

So, there it was. The first impression I made on Milwaukee was indeed a damaged up bumper and an insurance claim. Awesome.

After the initial 'bang' of our arrival in the city, Jamie and I have attempted to get to know the city on a more intimate level by riding around it on our bikes. Half expecting the roads to be as treacherous, if not more treacherous, than in Erie, I was initially a little timid to take my bike out on Wisconsin Ave. (the main thoroughfare) with buses and cars whizzing past my ear. Yet, to my astonishment, no one honked at me; no one verbally accosted me through their window; no one felt the need to rev their engine behind me. In fact, I was even given space on the road on which to ride, which was supplemented by real BIKE LANES that extend all over the downtown area of the city. Numerous times while riding my bike yesterday, I had a slight panic attack, as I turned down a concrete-paved road that looked more like a freeway than a road, and thought to myself, "Uh-oh, THIS road is surely not made for bikes.", only to find that just as I'm about to turn around and go another way, a bike lane appears. It seemed to me that I could ride literally over the ENTIRE city without ever having to be on a road that wasn't meant for bikes. It is such a refreshing change from the danger and complete ignorance of what I had found last year through my travels down Parade St. and State St. in Erie.

My cell phone has been ringing nonstop since my arrival, and I must admit that it's driving me absolutely insane. I really do believe that I've received more calls this past week than I would in a month in Erie. It wouldn't be so bad if those calls were coming from friends and family, but they aren't, they are the product of numerous confused tennents who live in the apartment building that I manage: "Um, could you let me in (at 12:00am)? I seem to have forgotten my key.", "The Internet man is coming to install cable into my room this morning at 10:30. Could you be there for me?", "Sorry for the inconvenience, however, I'm not going to be moving in today. How about tomorrow? Time!?! Oh, sorry, I don't know exactly when I'll be in." So is the life....

The last thing I'll mention is that I've recently become very aware of my own insecurities about going back to graduate school. I must admit that I'm not so sure I made the right decision, and I'm also not sure that what I'm about to study is REALLY what I'm interested in. I'm reading book after book just to get through them, as I have twenty-four of them total. It's been a hard battle to keep the 'Institution' in perspective, and I'm thankful for the Fellowship and the job at the Adult Learning Center for that reason: I can only read so many books that talk quite arrogantly about the problems of academe that make one believe that actually not getting your paper published in a journal is an ACTUAL problem; I know that what I'll be seeing at the Adult Learning Center will put "academic problems" into a crucible where they are to be ridiculed. I know that my worth doesn't come from being the best student or having an excellent seminar paper. I just have to keep reminding myself this as the year progresses. Ugh, I wish I had some stronger self confidence.....